Japan in My Dreams

I wish with all my heart that the boys and I will be able to make it to Japan this July. I am really hoping and praying like I've never hoped and prayed before. Of course, I very well know that this is all up to the Lord but I really really really want this to happen. I think that should this trip not push through (please God don't let that happen), it will be the most disappointing thing that would and could ever happen to me in my entire life. And I am not exaggerating.

I just love that country so much. I have loved it I think even before I stepped on it. It's just something that has been calling to me since waaaay back when. It just really fascinates me. And after living there for 6 months, the fascination has only increased a thousandfold. Some of my friends asked me if I was scared being in a new country, not to mention a country where I could barely speak the language! But how can you be scared of something that you absolutely love? I would gladly learn Nihongo if it means living there. I have told Ruther of my desire to stay there but we have yet to talk seriously about it. I admit, living permanently in a new country is a HUGE step, but of course, if we are together and if we just support each other as a family then I know we can make it. And it's this faith that makes me hope that living in that wonderful country is still possible. I suppose we'll just have to wait and see...