I Choose To Be Happy

I used to be a dweller. You know, dwelling on things that I have no or little control over. But not anymore. I don't want to surround my family with loneliness, sadness, depression or anxiety. I want them to experience as much joy, as much laughter as they can. God knows we need it all with the way things are in the world these days.

Prior to getting married and having kids, I would always be so emotional about the littlest thing. Everything would faze me and I would have so much difficulty letting go of something that would affect me so much. I thought I would and could never change. But Ruther and the boys helped me a lot. Because of them, I am now a better person. I no longer hold resentment, anxiety and pain inside of me. Because of them, I have learned to let these go, to release them into the wind, to turn them into nothingness. Of course, they are important learning tools in life but I no longer need to dwell on these things to learn from them. And I know that focusing more on my family, on our well-being, on laughter and fun, on sharing and bonding is what I choose to do right now. I know that if I only have a week, nay, a day to live, I live with no regrets. I know that if I die tomorrow, my family was happy, that they know they are loved and that they were always my first priority. That is how I would want it to be.

Life is always full of surprises. But now, life is so much happier. Maybe it's because I choose to look at it that way but one thing's for sure, I feel so much better about myself, I feel I am on the right track, and I know I always give happy feelings to the people around me and the people I love.

Ruther and I have always had some conflicts in our personalities. But now, we're communicating so well we haven't had a misunderstanding in ages. The mere touch of a hand is enough to convey what words cannot. A sweet kiss is enough to silence fears and doubts and anxieties to cleanse the heart. The living breath of my soulmate is enough to rejuvenate me in my lowest low. Everything matters little compared to my family. They are everything to me and I will do everything in my power to make sure that they would always be happy, always be accepted and always be loved.