What To Do

A very good friend of mine emailed me the other day. Apparently, she is having problems again with her husband. She tells me that he is "fooling around" again. And by "again" this is not the first nor the second time. Yup. He has cheated in the past. I already gave her advice before. I filled her in with options, with possibilities, with the consequences, with whatever I could think of short of knocking her head and telling her to leave the jerk and take her 3 kids with her. But apparently, she can't. She says she loves him too much.

I understand I cannot put myself in her shoes and therefore cannot judge her. After all, she is my dear friend. I SHOULD support whatever decision she has made and makes. But to be betrayed again and again? I was thinking about that and I asked myself, "Will I be able to stand up still if that happened to me?" "Will I be able to look into my husband's eyes and believe he loves me and only me?" I cannot understand how my friend could still be with her unfaithful husband. But again, I am not in her shoes. Maybe she is also thinking of her kids. Maybe she really finds it more painful to leave than to forgive him. I don't know. I'm running out of advice to give her because it seems to me, she will never leave the guy no matter how many times he cheats on her or "fools around".

I feel very sad for my friend. She and I were classmates in ballet (her mom was our teacher), she and I went to the same school and she and I were classmates in our classes and she and I formed so many memories together. She is one of the people I have always wished happiness and success. But I suppose it came with a price.

I haven't talked to my friend yet. I have been trying to but she tells me she threw her SIM away and says she will give me her new number soon. A few days ago, I read her blog and it seemed like she and her husband had a "talk" and it looks like they are okay. That to me is disconcerting because something like betrayal will require more than just "talk" to fix. This is deeply rooted and will need more intervention. I don't know what to do anymore. Is my friend really wanting to be hurt again and again (maybe not)? Does she feel she has more worth if her husband keeps coming back to her (probably)? Does she thrive in the moral support of friends and get satisfaction that people are backing her up (really not her personality)? I really don't know. As close as we are, there are some questions you just can't ask.

Sigh. I wonder what will happen to my friend's predicament. I wonder if it will and can be resolved still. But I'm quite sure that at the rate it's going, it's going to be anything but a happy ending.